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soup for sluts

Marketing your product in a country with a language that you’re not familiar with can be a tricky process: especially if you’re not a native speaker. Listed below are some of the greatest fails companies have made when translating the name of their products into English.

 

1 Mmmm, raspberry and mothballs.

Struggling to find some jam that tastes like your grandma? Sick of that regular old jam tasting jam? Your wait is finally now over! The Family Fruit Basket has just what you need with Grandma Jam!

 

 

2Walkies has never been so profitable.

Here at Pet Sweat Incorporated, we carefully extract sweat from animals after they’ve been taken for a long walk. Bottle it up and package it as a drink for you! Scientists have found that Pet Sweat can reduce the risk of cancer. Some other scientists have found that it can increase the risk of cancer. To be honest, here at Pet Sweat Incorporated, we really don’t care. Just give us your money, drink some Shih Tzu sweat and go fly a kite.

 

 

3Chow down, ya whore.

Looking for a tasty, nutritious snack to give to your cheating ex as a parting, farewell gift? Look no further than Soup for Sluts! We use a mixture of gravy granules, bubonic plague, Pet Sweat, ricin and noodles to create the great taste of promiscuousness that our customers know and love. Treat him or her to something they’ll never forget. Soup for Sluts.

 

4Pissing in a mug? Urine sane!

Isn’t it a pain having to bring your elderly relative hot drink after hot drink? Don’t you find it irritating helping them to the bathroom because they’re too frail to go on their own? You do?! Then the product above is most certainly for you. With this nifty bit of tech you’re not just taking them a hot drink, you’re also giving them a product that enables your mug to double up as a urinal. Your days of helping an elderly relative are over. 30 + 12 = 42 less things you’ll have to do, allowing you to have some more quality time to yourself. You can relax, tuck in to some jam that tastes like Grandma and watch The Jeremy Kyle Show… or The Chase… or whatever’s on at the time really, that’s up to you.

Because with Urinal, Urin control.

 

5Want a bit of this sausage? No homo.

Are you sick of being persecuted at dinner parties for not knowing the sexual orientation of your sausage? Embarrassed when guests point out your ignorance for not being PC and LGBT aware? Well worry no more, because down at Mark’s A Homo & Spencer’s Hetero, we have the answer for you! Each of our sausages are labelled with their respective sexuality. We boast a diverse range of sexual orientations from homosexual, heterosexual to transgender sausages. You’ll never be shown up again.

 

6 Something smells fishy… Oh, it’s my crack pipe.

Love crack but hate the taste? Well, you’re in luck. Some Columbian lab rats have teamed up with Bubba Gump Shrimp Company and created a formula that manipulates the substance so that it tastes like shrimp. Nope, we don’t have any other flavours. Just shrimp. If you’re not yet a full blown junkie, but are a huge fan of seafood, let this be the perfect gateway drug for your reckless inner prawnstar.

 

7Oh it’s that time already?

If you’re still at your local Mark’s A Homo & Spencer’s Hetero, march with pride down to the frozen food aisle. It’ll be all rainbows and happy times from here on in.

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