Dear Agony Aunt. We @ On The Scene Magazine miss the day’s of Agony Aunt columns. We decided to bring it back, our readers have sent in questions for our Agony Aunt to answer.
Here is a selection of the best questions and the best advice. We have kept the questions anonymous to protect the identity of everyone who’s written in.
Dear Agony Aunt,
“I think I need a lifestyle change… but I love him!
Q) “My boyfriend takes drugs, substances such as, cocaine. I was always a non-user but since I’ve been with him, somehow, I’ve become a user. I’m starting to think I do it just to be on the same level as him. I’m worried about being dragged into this lifestyle what can I do? I love him and want to spend time with him, but he’s just setting me off.”
A) What do you really enjoy? Is it the drug use or the boyfriend? If he’s a good guy he wouldn’t be encouraging, you to follow this lifestyle. Have you spoken to him about your change of mind? This could be a good place to start to gather whether you will need space to recover from the habit.
So… where are you? do you like it? don’t you like it? You are the only one who can answer these questions. Take some time alone, be mindful, meditate, dig deep and you will find the answers, you already know as you have reached out to me.
The question is, what is your next step? I can’t give you all the answers but anyone who doesn’t respect you, your health and wellbeing aren’t worth the time. Decide you what you really want.
Speak to your friends, family or even your GP to solidify your direction. Take the help you need to take a step forward, and I hope it will all work out for the better.
Dear Agony Aunt,
“Dating Apps are taking over my life!”
Q) “I keep contacting men on dating apps and can’t stop. Initially I would just meet them for a coffee or a quick drink, but it’s now gone further. I met a guy the other night and went home with him and had sex. Feeling sick but I really can’t stop and think I’m addicted to this kind of lifestyle, can you help?”
A) People nowadays have access to instant gratification through their mobiles or computers. Social media and various hook up apps have enabled people looking for a partner to access a whole sweetshop full of delightful possibilities.
However, sweets can make you nauseous and over indulgence of dating apps can also make you sick in a much deeper emotional way. Instead of using the apps try going out, volunteering, joining community clubs and group activities.
At least you could meet and connect with people in a natural way, perhaps form friendships which could lead to you meeting a partner. Some apps are just for hook ups be careful and always let someone know where you are going.
Good luck in your search for love… and if you feel your addiction is deeper rooted, please consult your GP who will refer you to the help you need.
Dear Agony Aunt,
“How can I achieve pristine private parts?!”
Q) “I am a 20-year-old female and my boyfriend would like me to shave my pubic hair. I want to keep him happy, and I do prefer it shaved myself. However, I have lots of itching and spots connected with regrowth of the hair. What can I do to satisfy my boyfriend and myself in a way that isn’t ruining my skin!?”
A) I don’t personally agree with shaving public hair. Pubic hair is there to protect your private parts from infection. There is, however a trend towards the removal of all body hair.
Some women have no problems shaving or waxing but others with sensitive skin find that these method cause irritations. I would recommend speaking to your partner explaining the problems you have with regrowth.
I advise trimming the excessive hairs, perhaps your partner could assist you, sharing the experience could be fun. In terms of removing hair safely and trouble free? There is no such a way that exists. Often, women will wax to keep the hairs at bay for longer. However, all method of hair removal has risks.
Next time you are at the Sexual Health Clinic, have a talk with a routine nurse, and she may suggest methods to sooth the area in question. Good Luck.
Dear Agony Aunt,
“Single again! I just want to move on…”
Q) “I’ve just finished a relationship that lasted 2 years. I had my future invested in this person! Now I can’t stop crying even though I was the one to finish it. How do I stop feeling sorry for myself and get back on track?”
A) I do sympathise. It’s hard when relationships end, whoever made the decision. What I advise people to do is remember why they ended it. What were the problems you were facing that made you end it in the first place?
Going back to an old love might seem the answer but the same problems will arise unless they can be resolved. Some relationships are just meant to run their course. Looking back can help you in your journey forward. Have faith that the right partner will appear when you least expect it.
Life is all about lessons and growth take this lesson learn from it and move on. You might want to take this opportunity to get to know yourself instead of spending your time thinking about what’s changed.
Have faith, loving yourself will always help you prevail through these turbulent times.
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