So the most wonderful time of the year has sprung upon us. The one socially acceptable time to get plastered at 12 in the morning on the bucks fizz, the time to sit around and pretend you love your family and exchange gifts that you wish came with a receipt. Of course it’s only bloody Christmas time! *Hold for applause and cheers*.

Any and all of your deepest repressed problems and confessions have had no place to flock, until now! Yes I can provide a safe haven of problem solving for you lost little children. Unleash your teenage angst to me.

Q) Dear Jack,

The time of year has come again; the rest of my family have all flocked down from their various holes in the UK with partners, boyfriends and girlfriends alike. Problem is I’ve got no one to bring to Christmas dinner, what do I do?

I’d sit in the corner and cry if I were you. You’re obviously the most unattractive member of the family, I’m sure they’d hate to see your ugly mug across the table putting everyone off their dinners.

Q) Dear Jack,

This is urgent! Our Nan has fallen asleep in the chair and we can’t wake her up! HELP US!

Firstly, check her pulse. It could be a food coma if not an actual coma. With the January sales coming up you could get a great deal on a lovely urn.

Q) Dear Jack,

I’ve accidentally wrapped the present for my girlfriend and labelled it with a tag for my mum. I don’t think she’s going to appreciate what’s inside.

Your mum might have a kinky side, merry Christmas to Dad, the lucky sod.

Q) Dear Jack,

I’ve just seen Santa for the first time in 5 years! Am I dreaming or is he real?

A) Calm down, take a breath. It’s probably your dad back from the shop with the milk he ‘popped’ out to get.

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays everyone!

Feel free to send your problems to me. No issue is too big or small.